So Soon, Subsume, Kaboom

What if I can't keep this
and I'm lost without it.
Because it can be all I have, and there is a
tick, a tick, tick, in my kitchen.
There is a clock which has no hands
that whirs all day long, and I never noticed
until I was happy.
I subsume my past
to look at yours. There is a picnic, a party,
a parade. Was I,    was I ever in
a parade?
And I'm not.
Just words.

Don't smile before we meet.